Reaction At Work

I decided only to tell three people at work about the Thyroid Cancer: my boss, his boss, and a co-worker. All three work at different offices than I do, so, I made the notification through email and explained the situation, the surgery date, and how much time I might need off.

I received calls from them today. Each was concerned and offered to do anything I needed, which was nice. But then each acted like I was ill and not feeling well. I feel exactly the same as I always have! I really don't want or need pitty. Especially at work where success can be a daily competition and if managers feel you can't do your job, that is very bad. I assured each that I feel great and there was no problem. Of course, that may change after the surgery, but, today - everything is the same as it always has been. 

Scheduling The Surgery

We were concerned about loosing a non-refundable summer vacation. Our Primary Doctor recommended we cancel the vacation. The surgeon told us he was booking surgeries two weeks out. This was all bad news for the vacation! When we explained this problem to the nurse, she talked to the doctor about the concern. She returned and told us the cancer is slow growing, and waiting a few weeks will not change anything.

We received a call from the hospital to schedule the surgery. The lady on the phone said the first available date was August 2! We were worried about our vacation for nothing - he was booked!

The surgeon only operates on Tuesday and Wednesdays so that limited the dates we could select. I hoped for a Thursday surgery so I could have up to 11 days to recover and would only need 7 days off from work. But no luck.

I talked it over with my wife and we picked August 9.

Scheduling pre-surgery UltraSound

I need to have an Ultrasound that looks at the lymph nodes in my neck and I need to have it done before the thyroidectomy. If they think the lymph nodes are suspect? They will cut those out too.

In addition, I must have bloodwork done  within 30 days of the surgery. When the doctor first told me this, I thought she said 30 days before the surgery, but, no, it is within 30 days.

I arranged to have the ultrasound and bloodwork done on August 2.

Meeting the Surgeon

My wife and I arrived to meet the surgeon. I had really no idea what the experience would be like, but I knew what to expect and I had come to

Peace with it long ago. I was actually joking with my wife a little.

After a short wait they called me back and took my weight and blood pressure. My blood pressure has been up just a little, which is odd - my blood pressure is usually rock solid. "Are you nervous?" The nurse asked. I didn't think I was but then she added "your heart rate is up." Maybe I was nervous.

I was taken into an examination room that had a large chair in the middle that reminded me of a barber's chair.

The nurse left and then a doctor's attendee arrived. She answered all of our questions while doing an examination. Then she felt around by throat and neck. 

There is a chance my vocal cords could be damaged during the surgery so they needed to look at them using a scope that would go through my nose. I thought it would be easier to go through my mouth but I guess that would have been less adventurous. The doctor sprayed a numbing agent into my nose whose only effect was to numb the roof of my mouth. She then painfully fished a hose through my nose and down my throat while she watched the incredible journey on a TV screen. She then asked me to sniff and make various sounds, but I was in so much pain that I found it difficult to do. After she was satisfied with her inspection, she removed the hose.

The surgeon came in a short time later, answered all out questions, and gave us a ton of information. After a while I realized I would only remember a tenth of what he was saying. I was very thankful my wife was taking notes. Although afterwards she admitted that there was so much information - she couldn't write it all down!

The surgeon felt my neck and commented how easy it was to feel the goiter.

The surgeon then explained that the breathing tube used during surgery had electronics on it that would notify him if he was getting too close to the vocal cords - kind of like the game Operation. These electronics make the breathing tube a little larger than normal and most people complain of discomfort from the tube while recovering from the surgery.

The surgeon and attendee left, which gave me a few minutes to assess my aching nose and numb mouth. The attendee returned with a consent form for me to sign. She read through the entire form. The most concerning aspect was a 1 in 10 chance they could cut a vocal cord nerve. If they do that, my voice will become breathy, I could choke on food, and I could die from aspirated pneumonia. I never realized the chance of that happening was so high!

I signed the consent form. The doctor left and as the surgeon's nurse arrived. She gave us a binder that contained all the information we had been told verbally - thank a God! There was no way I could remember everything that was said.

There was more information given than I can remember. At some point I will go back through all the notes and write more about it.

Pre-Surgeon Appointment

We meet with the surgeon tomorrow to find out what needs to be done for the Thyroidectomy and the timeline. I assume I will loose the entire thyroid, but, I don't know for certain.

According to our original plan, we were supposed to arrive in Florida today and stay until the end of July. The trip is non-refundable, so, the house we rented is now sitting empty! We are very concerned whether the surgery timeline will allow us to use some of the time we have purchased. This concern is helping to pass the time.

If the surgeon tells us the surgery won't be for several weeks? We are going to hop in the car Tuesday morning and drive to Florida. Therefore, we have to have everything for five weeks packed and ready to go whether we are going to get to go or not. This "unknowing" is very difficult.

I have questions for the doctor all figured out:

1. I have a lump near my elbow that my Primary Doctor doesn't think is related, but, I want him to look at it.
2. I want to know the number of surgeries the doctor has done. I have learned that there is a scale based on surgeries that determines how expert the doctor is.
3. I am concerned about gaining weight. Some gain weight, most don't - I want to make sure the doctor knows this is a concern
4. Do I meet with an Endocrine doctor? When?
5. Will I have to go through a Radioactive Iodine treatment?
6. What is the timeline of all the activities?
7. Will we be able to go to Florida?
8. How much of the thyroid will be take
9. If he doesn't take it all, what is the chance of occurrence?
10. Will the stitches be on the outside? Or will be do stitches on the inside?

Here is a list of questions you might want to consider asking: http://www.thyca.org/newly-diagnosed/questions/

I am sure I will have more questions, but, that is what I have come up with so far.

Passing time waiting for Surgeon Appointment

The meeting with the surgeon is on Monday. Until that appointment, I have to idea what is going to be happening during the next several weeks. Will I be going on vacation? Will I be having surgery? Will there be many pre-op doctor appointments I have to go to?

Much of our time is distracted trying to figure out what we are going to do with our nonrefundable vacation. Can we get some of the money back? Could we send someone else in our place?

I haven't done a lot of research into Thyroid Cancer these past few days. I did read about a lady's 1.5 year journey. She was very concerned about the scar and wrote a lot about what she did for it - and today you almost can't see it. If fact, you wouldn't see the scar unless you were looking for it. Maybe my thoughts will change, but, I don't really care about the scar. Most of her entries were about on going struggle to get her medicine levels correct. Just when she thought she was doing OK, she got a bad bottle of medicine that caused her to spike. Fixing it caused her levels to drop. Months later, she was still trying to get things fixed.

I found the blog interesting. I also find it interesting that there is almost nothing out there about guys getting a thyroidectomy. Therefore, I hope my blog will help others.

Telling our Friends

Yesterday we finished telling everyone we wanted to tell about my Cancer. On Monday I told my boss at work. Tuesday we told my sister so she would be ready for a call from my mother. Then we told the kids, then my mother. Then I sent emails to my brothers. On Wednesday we told our friends, my wife's brothers and sisters, and I told my two cousins on my father's side of the family. I think cancer came into the family through my father's mother, although that is just a guess. My grandfather died of a stroke and I am told my grandmother died of cancer. All of her children then died of cancer and my nephew has it too.

I have been reading many stories from others. They report weight gain until the Thyroid meds are figured out, and then being unable to lose the weight no matter what. Two stories talked about taking radioactive iodine at Month 4 to burn off any remaining thyroid tissue. Most talked about struggling with deep depression and lack of energy while the meds get straightened out - which could take a year to a year and a half! So, I am concerned about a few days of surgery pain followed by many months of torture while the med levels get figured out.

I imagine that if someone has a great Thyroidectomy, they probably don't write about it. They just move on with life. And if someone has a bad thyroidectomy, they are going to seek answers and share stories. So, I am reading the worse case scenarios. At least, I hope so.

Telling the Family

Until we talk to the surgeon on Monday,  our lives are on hold. Which is difficult because I have been gunning for 9+ months with schooling, tests, holidays, anniversary, roof replacement on our house, and more. And now there is an empty void of activity . 

I don't have much concern for the surgery expect two things: (1) Several days of pain. I have never had to experience high levels of pain so I am sure whatever pain this will be is going to be my personal maximum. (2) I have heard weight loss is impossible without a thyroid. I have to do more research on that topic because my entire adult life - since the age of 13 or more, has been concerned with my weight. I need to get that clarified. 

Yesterday, we told my mother and the kids about my cancer. They took it well. I focused the conversation on what they cared about instead of focus on the cancer and that approach worked well. The kids are concerned about getting to finally stay home for a summer because they are tired of our summer vacation trips. They are concerned about getting their trip presents and the video games we buy to occupy them during the trip. I assured them the cancer was OK and would be taken care of, and that is all they wanted to know. The rest was about "How does this effect me?"  For my mother, I used the approach of complaining that we couldn't get our vacation money refunded, and that was the topic she focused on.

I have... Cancer?

I was attending a funeral when my cell phone rang. It was the doctor's office, which means the results of my needle biopsy have returned. I didn't want to answer the phone because I was scared what the answer might be, so, I made my wife answer. I thought that if she answered the phone, I would receive a few moment's buffer to adjust my reaction.

She answered the phone and it was Nurse Chrissie. She asked if I could come in to talk to the doctor that day and we said we couldn't due to the funeral. So, we made an appointment for Monday.

I immediately knew what the results would be. If it was good news? Chrissie would have just told us over the phone. But the fact I needed to go into the office could only mean one thing: Cancer. I tried to convince myself that perhaps that diagnosis was something else, but, I knew what the real answer would be.

The weekend was spent researching Thyroid Cancer so we could be prepared for the worse possible news. The research I found was reassuring: the surgery was the easy part. The hard part was after the surgery - getting the medicine correct.

On Monday, my wife and I went to the doctor's office. I tried to joke a little to keep the mood light but it was difficult. It wasn't long before we were called back to one of the examination rooms.

My wife was very nervous. By the time the doctor arrived, she had used the restroom three times! Soon, the family doctor that we have known for 22 years arrived and delivered the news: the needle biopsy found papillary thyroid cancer. He answered any questions we might have, and then reassured us: "You are going to be fine." He said he believed we caught it early, and he believed it was all contained within the thyroid, and he told us the thyroid would have to be removed.

I had went to the Doctor's Office expecting the worse answer and that is what I received. I had built myself up for it and prepared for it and therefore it wasn't a shock. They say there are stages of grief, but, I didn't have them because I had the weekend to prepare and received the answer I was expecting. I knew what was going to happen next, I was ready for it, and I just wanted to get it over quickly so I could go back to living my life.

Immediately on my mind was a very expensive non-refundable vacation we had been planning and were leaving for in four days! I asked the doctor what he would recommend we do, and he recommended we cancel the trip. That was a bigger shock than the news about the cancer.

The doctor walked us down to his receptionist and had her get us an appointment with a surgeon who could remove the Thyroid. The appointment is for the following Monday: the 27th. 

Second Goiter - Needle Biopsy

My thyroid needle biopsy was yesterday. They called me from the waiting room and I followed the nurse back. She opened a tiny closet that had a bench and some gowns hanging on the wall. She stood there for several seconds before concluding she didn't have a gown for someone 6'4", 285 pounds. So, she had me take my shirt off. I laid down on the table and she covered me with a towel.

She did some ultrasounds to see what she was working with, then left to go get the doctor. The doctor arrived several minutes later. First thing first! Paperwork. He asked me to sign a consent form.

The doctor did a quick ultrasound of the thyroid to decide his approach. Then he wiped my neck with byodine. Once that dried, he got to work.

I stairs at a dot on the ceiling or closed my eyes through the procedure. The most difficult thing for me was: where do I rest my hands so they don't fall over the table edge. All through the procedured I did regular "body checks" to make sure I didn't have any muscles unnecessarily flexed and if I did? I would relax them.

The doctor biopsied two nodes and each went the same way. First, a tiny prick to administer the numbing agent. Many people describe this prick to be like a bee sting, but for me it was just a prick. After the prick I felt nothing expect for some pressure as the doctor worked. I don't really know what he was doing because I had my eyes closed and I don't think I could accurately describe the pressure I was feeling. I can just report there was zero pain. The procedure was over in just a minute or two - very fast.

I understand they took whatever they gathered and put it on microscope slides. The nursed showed me one slide after the doctor left... and I really would have been OK with not seeing that!

The nurse washed off the biodine. She then asked me to sit up and asked if I felt light headed. I lied and said I felt fine. She had me put my shirt back on and then showed me to the exit.

During the procedure I noticed my left ear felt a little numb and my jaw hurt a little. I assumed I must have had my jaw clenched. Also, the back of my head ached. Again, I assumed I must have had a muscle that was tense during the procedure.

Other than the two pricks for numbing, there was no pain.

My wife drove me home. On the way home it kinda felt like a sore throat whenever I swallowed. I was unable to yawn even through I tried several times. And coughing hurt. It was very mild and all that went away a several hours after getting home.

When I got home, I took two aspirin for the headache - it was behind my left ear (the one that previously felt numb). That seemed to help my sore jaw too. Around an hour or so later, I laid down and iced the side of my throat. The throat had a slight burning sensation and when I turned my head I would feel a prickly feeling. None of this was major - just a little discomfort.

This burning and prickling returned around 4 or 5 hours later so I iced it again and took more asprin.

This morning there was a very very mild burning sensation on the side of my neck and a very very mild prickly feeling, so, I took some more aspirin.

Second Goiter Ultrasound Results

It was March 2014 when I went through my first Thyroid check. They compared the 2014 pictures to the new 2016 pictures and found the nodule had increased in size. Now they are arranging for a needle biopsy. That means they will stab me in the throat with a needle, take some cells from the thyroid, and look at them under a microscope.

I did some research. 90% of the time the needle biopsy comes back fine. If it finds cancer? 95% of the time they cure it with surgery. So, the chance I have a problem at this stage is 5% of 10%. I actually do think there is something wrong with my thyroid: depression, overweight, chronic cough, etc. I just don't think it is cancer.

I try not to worry about the possibility of cancer, but sometimes I do worry about it. Then I research on the internet to make myself feel better. I don't worry that I will die of cancer because i think that is unlikely. We all die of something - eventually something will kill me. But I don't think I will die of thyroid cancer. I worry about all the procedures, pain, and those kinds of things - fairly minor issues.

Mostly, I feel this is a hassle and just want to get this done - especially with leaving for a vacation in 16 days. I just want to hurry up, do whatever needs to be done, and don't let it interrupt the vacation.

Doctor Check-up Results

Two years ago, around March 2014, my doctor said my thyroid was enlarged. I got really worried as I went through an ultrasound and some radiation test only to determine everything was fine. The doctor was puzzled during a checkup in the fall of 2014 because he found the thyroid to have returned to a normal size.

During today's doctor visit, I asked the doctor to check moles and thyroid. The doctor felt around my throat and told me the left side of the thyroid was enlarged. He told me he wanted to get a new ultrasound to see what was going on.

Luckily, I was able to get a same day ultrasound appointment. I am less concerned this time because I have been through all this before. The ultrasound experience was identical to the one I have two years ago.

Doctor Check-up Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my doctor appointment for my six month check-up. The purpose is to make sure the depression medicine is still OK. I had to go on depression medicine two years ago, shortly after my first goiter was detected. During this visit, I also want to get a mile check to look for skin cancer. Dad just had skin cancer removed from his chin and that is a good reminder for everyone to get checked regularly. I also want to get my weight gain checked - I have added 45 pounds since going on the depression medicine. Some of it is my fault for eating the wrong things - but even when I do everything right, I am not seeing results. I have been hitting the gym every day for an hour and eating right and the scale just isn't moving.