Bearing the Scar

I am coming toward the end of 4 weeks post-op. Everytime I go out (Shopping, dinner, etc) I wear a button-up shirt to hide the scar. Even when I go to the gym I wear shirts that ride very close to the scar so it is less noticeable.

This weekend was my first time out bearing the scar.

My nephew survived reoccurring lymphoma by getting a stem cell transplant from a donor to n Germany. He suggested that we go to Oktoberfest in a nearby town. I figured: if I can't bear my scare to someone who has spent his entire adult life fighting cancer, and has more scars then I hope I ever will, then I will never be ready!

This was a little difficult for me because sometimes I forget about the scar, but am reminded when someone else notices it and stares for a moment.

My Mother said a few weeks ago "Are you worried that is someone sees your scar that they will think you tried to commit suicide?" Honestly, I hadn't even though about that aspect. Thanks Mom for making me just a little more self conscious! 

When people stare it is normally just a glance that goes on too long. They see it, wonder what it is, realize it is a scar, and then they go on with their business. Beyond that? No one cares!

I had a great time at Oktoberfest. I didn't have to keep covering up my neck for making sure the top button of my shirt was secured. This was a chance to trade some stories as we both went to the same cancer center and both encountered some of the same people who work there.

After leaving Oktoberfest I accompanied my wife grocery shopping. After a little while at the store I had completely forgotten about the scar. Everyone was so busy doing their shopping that they didn't notice my scar. Or, perhaps I was so busy shopping that I didn't notice anyone noticing.

It was a good day bearing the scar. I feel much more confident about it now.

PS Bare versus Bearing

Bare is to expose. While my scar was exposed, it has been a burden on me to keep it covered