I need to get an ultrasound on my throat. After last week's physical, the doctor found an enlargement under my adam's apply (my thyroid). It could be cancer so it needs tobe checked.
They say most things you worry about never come true. So, that would encourage me to worry so it won't come true. I am really trying not to worry about it and I don't want my wife to worry about it. But I have done some internet research and researched the scar associated with getting a thyroid removed.
My attitude right now: whatever it is? It is. There is nothing I can do about it. So lets find out and fix it if it is wrong. Of course, I hope nothing is wrong. But if it is? Then lets get it fixed so I can move on.
What if this is cancer? Well, that is unlikely. If it is cancer, I have a 97%+ chance of survival. I would have a scar on my neck and have to take some pills - small price to pay I suppose.
Now suppose I am part of that 3% that don't survive? It is probably natural to question your mortality. At this stage in my thinking, I think several things: 1) We are all walking time bombs and any of us could die unexpectedly for any reason. 2) My Dad dies at 45, and I always considered that a life milestone. I am now 44. 3) Life is not a game but it is similar in that we get to play out our lives and at some point our turn ends. 4) I am concerned I have not left enough money for my family to survive - not enough life insurance and certainly not enough in retirement. 5) I can only hope I have left my family with enough good memories.
What would I want to do in my final days? Of course, vacation with the family. But really? I think I would rather make sure I am leaving my family as financially secure as I can. That vacation would buy groceries for months, a semester of college, or pay the mortgage for a long time. I think my responsibilities are more important.
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