Late Tuesday afternoon (the day of the ultrasound) there was a message left to call my primary doctor's office. I heard the message Tuesday night and it wiped me out. For them to call me on the same day must mean terrible news.
After I heard the message my mind went a little scatterbrained. It wasn't a panic - it was confusion. So many things were flooding my mind that I couldn't organize my thoughts. So, I went to my bedroom so I could get my mind back into order.
There, I reviewed and rationalized what I just heard. I determined that what I heard was exactly what I was expecting. Nothing changed. My mental thinking of how this would unfold (needle biopsy followed by removal of the Thyroid) hadn't changed. In fact, I had prepared myself for this to the depths of the internet research and even looked in the mirror for the folds/crease on my neck that could serve as the scar. I have mentally prepared myself for the near worse case scenario. Even so, just that phone call set my mind into a whirl.
The doctor's office opened at 8:45 am on Wednesday morning. My wife sat with me while I called the doctor's office. I had a pen and paper ready to write down anything important. I talked to the nurse. She said she was calling just to make sure I got the blood work done. What? That's it? She continued: she had the ultrasound and that was normal but wanted to see if I did the blood work. Wait a minute... did she just say the ultrasound was normal? I asked. She said the doctor hadn't looked at it yet, but it was normal but there were several cysts on it. So... they were cysts and not tumors! She said she would talk to the doctor to see what he wanted to do and she would call me back.
That was an incredible relief! I immediately felt like I was in the clear! My wife warned me that she wanted more tests just to be sure and I thought two things: 1) Sure, I don't care, test away! 2) I don't know... if you look long enough and hard enough you are bound to find something - why not just leave it alone? Either way, it would be in the doctor's hands to decide.
I received a call several hours later. It was my primary doctor's nurse. The doctor want to be sure and was ordering a radioactive scan. This is when I would take a radioactive pill and they would perform a scan to see how much of the thyroid absorbed it. Too much or too little would be an overacting or underacting thyroid (something I always wondered about so I was glad to have this test). Also, depending on how muc of the cysts absorbed, it could tell us whether or not the cysts were cancer.
The nurse called back. She got me an appointment for the next day (today) which concerned me a little that they might have thought this test needed to be done ASAP. But I was glad because I have a timeline for a summer vacation, so, all this work needs to be wrapped up!
The arrangements were that I would go to the lab at 10am to take a radioactive pill on Thursday. I couldn't eat or drink for 4 hours before taking the pill. Then, at 10am Friday I would return for the scan.
I went to bed least last night (OK... 9:30) and set the alarm for 5:45am so I would wake up, eat 2 granola bars and some juice, and then go back to sleep. Then I arrived at the lab at 9:30am.
It is amazing how much something like this can impact your life. I have been spending spare time reading about this cancer and others. I have also thought about the positive impact that I can have on others just by simply saying something nice to them - something I don't always think to do. We went to Lent service this week at church and I sat holding my wife's hand - something we never get to do with a row filled with our children.
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