Yesterday I went to the lab for a nuclear test. I didn't have to wait very long before the Nuclear Technician came and got me. She took me to a room with a large device in it. She asked me a bunch of questions and wrote my answers on a piece of paper. Then she left the room to fax the piece of paper to some doctor I had never heard of before.
She returned and explained that a glass cylinder contained my pill. She aimed a white tube at it. After a while she opened the glass cylindar and removed a metal cut with a screw top. The metal cut had a sticker on it with my name, and the sticker matched the check-in bracelet I had been given when I arrived.
She unscrewed the metal lid and pulled out a plastic put containing a pill (capsule) the size of a Tylenol. She gave me water and I took the pill.
She explained that on Friday when I returned she would point that white cylinder at me neck to see how much radiation my thyroid absorbed. Too much or too little would tell if the thyroid was hyperactive or low. As she explained this, I thought - how will that tell if I have cancer? It won't!
She then continued. Next, I would lie on a bed that sat connected to a great machine in the room. She would inject me with more radiation. Then, the machine would take a picture of my thyroid. Ah.... so that is how they will tell. They will tell from that picture.
So, I left the hospital radioactive. The only warning I was given was: don't eat fish, don't add salt to your food, and stay away from babies because I am radioactive. Just to be safe, I stayed away from everyone, and my wife decided to sleep on the couch (even though I offered to sleep on the couch). I have peace of mind because I have convinced myself that this is a thyroid test, not a cancer test. If they need to do a needle biopsy at this point, I will probably need a mental adjustment to remind myself that a need biopsy still falls into all my thinking, planning, and mental preparation.
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